


Mystery Meat

by HadesGhostGirl



Series: Danny Phantom Rewrite [2]
Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Rewrite, Danny Fenton has ADHD, Trans Character, Wes shows up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2020-12-24 17:36:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21103346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HadesGhostGirl/pseuds/HadesGhostGirl
Summary: A rewrite if the first episode of Danny Phantom. Danny gets used to his powers.





	1. In the lab

Danny, Sam and Tucker sat on chairs facing one of the counters in the Fenton Works Lab. Jack stood in front of that same counter.

"So Danny," Jack said, moving some things around on the counter. "You and your friends have decided you want to hunt ghosts?"

Danny, Sam and Tucker looked at each other. Danny spoke first. "Actually Dad, I wanna be an astronaut." The 14 year old waved a hand at his NASA shirt.

Sam, crossing her legs and tapping the clunking soles of her docs together, said, "Sorry Mr Fenton, I was into ghosts, but their so mainstream now. Their like cell phones."

Tucker looked incredulously at Jack. "Waste all these good looks and all this charisma hunting ghosts?" He crossed his arms and turned away making his oversized yellow sweatshirt bunch up. "Criminal."

Jack didn't seem to notice the three denials and continued on his merry way. "Well if you do want to hunt ghosts, there's a few things you need to learn." He then explained what ghosts were and Danny really should have been paying attention but his binder was sitting funny and Sam's leg bobbing kept distracting him. That was when his ghost sense went off and two spectral octopi squeezed their way out of the closed portal doors.

Danny scrawled at them. He glanced at Sam and Tucker who had both gasped when they noticed the ghosts, then at his dad who had his back to the portal. Danny jumped at his chance. He leapt for the ghosts. A ring of light appeared around his waist. The flash should have been noticed by his dad, but it wasn't. So he shrugged and started beating up the squids.

Unfortunately, the ectopi had the upper hand as Danny had no idea how to control his powers. He flipped midair accidentally and slammed sideways into one of the ectopi. He smiled when he saw it get knocked across the room. An ectopus grabbed Sam and Tucker and lifted them into the air. Danny felt his pulse quicken. He kicked the ghost in the face. It dropped his friends. He grabbed it by the tentacles and threw it at the other ectopus. Both made a noise of distress and flew back into the portal.

Danny changed back. His dad turned at the flash.

"That's the Fenton Portal," he said with pride in his voice. "It releases ghosts into our world whether I want it to or not. Someday, I'll figure out how that works too."

Sam was still holding the Fenton Thermos that Jack has given to her. Tucker had a hand clutching at his sweatshirt and was very nearly hyperventilating. Danny's pulse was still racing. He frowned slightly as he realised he probably shouldn't have s pulse in ghost form.

"Look at you kids," Jack exclaimed, gesturing to the three of them. Danny leant against Trucker's chair and tried to get his breath back. "You're too excited to speak, so I'll go on speaking. I was born many years ago in a log cabin in the woods..." Danny rolled his eyes.


	2. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jazz gives Danny a ride to school .

The next morning Danny sat at the table mindlessly munching on Crash Nebula breakfast cereal. Jazz sat next to him reading a book that he assumed was either about psychology or therapy. He lifted a spoonful of Crunch Nebula as sparks flew from across the table.

"Okay," Maddie said, pulling the hood of her jumpsuit down. Danny's spoon fell through his hand. "Two more days, and it's done."

Danny had not been paying enough attention to whatever this thing was to form an opinion. Until, that is, Jack burst into the room then his already mounting panic over his invisible hand increased tenfold. "What's that? It's done!" He exclaimed as he grabbed the thing. "The Fenton Finder is done! This baby uses satellites to lead you straight to the ghosts."

"It uses what to track what?" Danny asked, standing up and backing away.

A voice from the device said 'A ghost is near. Walk forward.' Danny backed up. Jack and Maddie, staring directly at the Fenton Finder, followed him. His back hit the fridge. Jack and Maddie stopped. 'You must be some kind of idiot not to notice the ghost directly ahead.' Danny smiled nervously.

"Well that can't be right," Jack said, holding the thing up.

"It is only a prototype," Maddie pointed out. 

Danny looked between his parents and his shoulders slumped. "I need to tell you guys something."

Jazz stood up, closing her book. "That's not all you need Danny," She said as she grabbed his shoulders. Danny froze. The cold that was always somewhere inside him started rising to the surface. "You need guidance." Jazz glared at their parents. Danny shoved his hands into his pockets hoping that by doing something the cold energy would dissipate. "And parents who can provide it." She hugged him. Danny picked at the seam inside his pockets willing the cold not to spread. For once it obeyed him. "Come you abused unwanted wretch, I'll drive you to school." With that Jazz marched them outside.

Once in Jazz's car, Danny sighed in relief. The cold feeling had retreated to somewhere near his heart where it usually resided. "That was a little over the top Jazz," Danny told his sister as she buckled her seatbelt.

"One day it might be," Jazz retorted, turning the ignition and adjusting her mirror. "But for now it's what they need."

"Jazz they're just doing what they've always done," Danny argued back, tugging at his seatbelt. "We turned out alright so far."

Jazz sighed. "I guess we did," she conceded. "But that doesn't mean they get a free pass."

Danny decided to drop the subject for now. For the rest of the drive to school Danny told Jazz about the space shuttle simulator he had discovered. She was either actually interested or very good at feigning it, the same way Maddie used to be when Danny told her about how he'd saved Sam from a dragon (he never told her about how Sam had then chewed him out for beating up her imaginary pet). Danny had almost forgotten he was anything other than a normal teenager by the time they got to Casper High, then he put his hand right through the door and the fantasy collapsed around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing really changes in this chapter. But we do have an extra scene.


	3. SHE CHANGED THE MENU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and Tucker learn about Sam changing the menu. Wes witnesses something he probably shouldn't.

"See ya Jazz," Danny yelled as he ran off towards the school. Sam and Tucker waved at him as he approached the front steps.

"Hey Danny," Sam greeted him.

Tucker frowned at him over one of his phones. "Somethings different about you," he said, shoving his phone into one of his cargo shorts pockets.

"Hey, er yeah we have PE today so I put on a sports bra," Danny said rubbing the back of his neck and blushing.

"That's not it," Tucker all but yelled. "You're not wearing a t-shirt!"

"What?"

"You heard me," he said, clarifying. "You're wearing a sweatshirt today. I was beginning to think you were a cartoon character with how often you wore that red and white shirt."

"Hey I have several of those," Danny defended himself. "They came in a multipack."

"Keep telling yourself that. I'm on to you cartoon boy." Tucker pointed two fingers at his own eyes and then reversed the hand at Danny. "I'm watching you."

"Okay," Sam said, looking between Danny and Tucker. "Well that happened. Let's go, I think the bell just went."

"Yeah okay," The boys said heading off after Sam. They reached the stairwell they were going to and then Danny started talking as if they were continuing a conversation.

"I mean, it's been a month since the accident and I still barely have any control. One slip and I go from geek to freak around here," Danny stage whispered and crossed his arms dramatically. He didn't notice he was already waist deep, and still sinking, in the floor.

"Kinds like what you're doing now?" Tucker asked, looking down at his friend completely nonplussed.

"Say Danny did you shrink?" some kid asked as they walked past. Sam and Tucker pulled him out of the ground but he stayed low, sat against the wall. The kid, Wes, did a double take.

"Very funny Weston," Danny said, masking his panic as best as he could. "Grade School rang, they'd like their jokes back."

Wes grumbled and moved on.

"Maybe I should just tell them?" Danny asked his friends as they continued up the stairs. He waved one hand at himself and the other vaguely in the air. "If my parents can invent a machine that accidentally makes me half ghost why can't they invent something to change me back?" He continued walking, hands in his pockets, and didn't notice as he walked straight through a vending machine. Sam and Tucker ran to stop their intangible friend before he walked right through Wes.

"What's the point?" Sam asked. "Parents don't listen and even worse they don't understand. WHY CAN'T THEY ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM?"

Danny and Tucker looked at her. "Er Sam, we're talking about my parents, my powers."

"Oh, right," Sam said, a little self-consciously. She straightened her skirt. "Me too..."

Danny continued then as if Sam hadn't had her little outburst. "They already accept me as their son. How much harder could it be to accept that I'm what, half dead?"

"Let me just run those numbers." Tucker pulled out an iphone. He pretended to type in a calculation. "There's a 100% chance of total failure. Danny, your parents are ghost hunters."

"Exactly why they'd be best suited to help me."

"You said it yourself Danny," Sam said, as she started them walking towards class again. "It's been a month. Do you really think they'll believe you're story after that long and not just think you're overshadowed?"

Danny agreed.

Lunch came around eventually and Danny, Sam and Tucker walked towards the cafeteria. Danny tried really hard to stay solid for the whole journey (he walked through one bin and sank twice) but because of how hard he was trying he started floating a little at one point. Sam grabbed his backpack and pulled him down before he noticed. 

After Danny had tried to pick up a lunch tray three times he gave up. Sam put one on the shelf for him and he gave her a grateful look. Then he glared at his hands.

"Danny, your powers make you unique," Sam told him, giving him a side hug (a big thing for her as she usually didn't touch people). "Unique is good. That's why I'm an ultra-recyclo-vegetarian."

Danny chuckled.

Tucker raised one eyebrow above his glasses. "What's an ultra-recyclo-vegetarian?"

"She doesn't eat anything with a face on it," Danny explained. "It's an inside joke."

"Now I know how you feel when we do that to Sam," Tucker said. "Just to clarify, you are actually vegan right?"

Sam rolled her eyes and didn't answer. "I actually got the school board to try a vegan menu."

"You did what?" Tucker yelled. That was when they got to the counter. Vegan lasagne, salad, jacket potatoes with vegan toppings, and veggie burgers.

Danny frowned. "Is that grass on a bun?"

"One turfwich," the lady serving said as she dumped the grass-bread on his plate.

"Don't you think this is a little extreme, Sam?" Danny asked, lifting his turfwich.

Another one landed on Trucker's tray. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna probably have Wes appear every now and then. Seeing things he shouldn't.
> 
> Also, today's my birthday!


	4. Food/Garbage Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dash starts a food fight.

Danny sat opposite Sam and deliberated his turfwich. "This has to be a joke?"

"Not everything is a joke," Sam countered.

"My afterlife is," Danny muttered as he glared at the grass on his plate.

"Ahh Miss Manson," Lancer said as he walked up behind Sam. "Thank you for ushering in this welcome experiment to our schools cafeteria menu."

Tucker sniffed. His nose twitched like a rabbit. "Meat." He looked around and then sniffed again. "Near." Then he glared at Lancer.

"No no," the English teacher defended. "The rumours of the all meat buffet in the teacher's lounge are completely unfounded."

"What rumours?" Danny asked.

"Did he say there's and all meat buffet in the teacher's lounge?" Asked a kid over Danny's shoulder.

Lancer looked around and beat a hasty retreat. "Thanks again," he told Sam as he passed.

"Yeah thanks again for making us eat garbage Sam," Tucker grumbled.

"It's not garbage," Sam defended, lifting a forkful of her veggie lasagne. "It's organic, compostable and recyclable."

"It's garbage," Tucker growled. Danny felt a little bad for Sam. The turfwich was the only thing that was actually garbage, the rest looked edible. 

Danny's ghost sense went off. "Guys I have a problem."

That was when a glob of mud hit the back of Danny's head. "Make that two problems."

"FENTON!" Dash screamed as he marched towards their table. "I ordered three mud pies. You know what they gave me? Three. Mud. Pies. With mud. From the ground."

"Actually that's topsoil," Sam said.

"Whatever."

Dash dropped the plate in front of Danny and there were indeed 3 piles of mud on the plate. Sam really must have worked hard on this. These couldn't actually be food. It had to be a joke. "These are supposed to be the best years of my life. How am I supposed to spend my glory days eating mud?" The jock pleaded. "This is all because of your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend."

"I'm not his girlfriend."

"Eat it. All of it." Dash handed him a fork.

Danny looked at the plate. Then up at Dash. He looked at Sam and gave her an apologetic look. He flipped the plate up and at Dash. "GARBAGE FIGHT!"

Without prompting, Tucker followed Danny down. Both boys crawled under the table. Sam stood up beginning to yell "It's not garbage it's-" Danny pulled her under the table before she could finish.

"Ghost," he whispered pointing towards the door to the kitchen. Sam nodded and they all started to crawl in that direction.

"FENTON!" Dash yelled. Danny looked back. Dash was about to launch half a lasagne at him when three separate meals hit him in the face.

"Oh great, I'm still his favourite."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to be a little less insensitive with the vegan side of things here but I also wanted some things to still be the same. So yeah, actual vegan foods but also still got the turfwich and the mud pies.
> 
> Danny making jokes about being dead is something I really enjoy.


	5. Lunch is sacred!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lunch lady ghost is harder than Danny thought.

Tucker pushed the door open and saw the ghost. "This shouldn't be so bad, she looks a little like my grandma," he said as Danny came up next to him.  
"Shouldn't she be haunting a bingo hall?" Danny asked.  
The ghost turned. "Hello children, can you help me," She said in a quiet, gentle voice that put the three of them at ease. "Today's menu is meatloaf but I don't see the meatloaf. Did somebody change the menu?"  
Tucker pushed his glasses up and then pointed at Sam. "Yeah, she did."  
"YOU CHANGED THE MENU?" The ghost screeched, flames coming from her eyes and her skin turning red. "THE MENU HAS BEEN THE SAME FOR 50 YEARS!" Her appearance shifted back to the softer lunch lady look and she held up a plate. "Would anyone like cake?"  
Tucker nodded, Sam did too. "TOO BAD!" Back to the red. "CHILDREN WHO CHANGE MY MENU DO NOT GET DESSERT!"  
"Get behind me," Danny said, trying to sound brave. His voice wobbled so it wasn't that effective. Still, Tucker and Sam jumped behind their ghost powered friend.  
"Wow, I feel safe," Sam joked.  
"I'm going ghost!" Danny yelled, suddenly sounding more confident. There was a flash, rings passed over him, and then there stood Danny but significantly dead-er. Danny pointed at the lunch lady ghost as the last of his transformation rings traveled along his finger. “I command you to,” HE paused uncertainly before continuing with much less confidence. “Go away.”  
The ghost just laughed at him and sent every unwashed plate flying at him. He gaped before focusing and went intangible. The plates flew right through him and smashed into the wall. He returned to physicality and smiled.  
Sam gasps and Danny launches himself into action. He threw himself in front of Sam and caught every single plate. When the plates were heading for Sam Tucker had dived to the side, but now more plates were heading straight for him. Just before the plates hit him, Danny moved in front of him and caught those plates too, all in large stacks. A couple of plates were clamped between his teeth.  
With all the plates precariously balanced on his arms, Danny flew across the room and put them all back. He dropped the ones from his mouth and looked his reflection on the weirdly shiny surface. “If this superhero thing doesn’t work out I could have an exciting career as a busboy,” He joked to his reflection.  
The ghost behind him growled. “I control Lunch. Lunch is sacred. Lunch has rules!” She yelled before waving her hand at the ovens. They bounced and rocked into life. She growled to herself and flew up through the ceiling. The three stoves spat green, ghostly flames and started to bounce towards Sam and Tucker. Tucker grabbed Sam and pulled her out of the way of the flames. One of the ominously glowing stoves turned its artificial attention on Danny. It spat flames at him. He dodged upwards.  
All three, once again head in Sam and Tucker’s direction. They had gotten faster since they came to life. The two humans backed away but soon hit the wall. Danny threw himself over the green flames and smashed into his two friends. They all tumbled through the wall. On the other side, they remained airborne for a few moments.  
Then they roll onto the ground, smacking into lockers on the other side of the hall. Danny’s head slid right through one of the doors. He immediately stood up and looked at his white-gloved hands. “Hey!” He exclaimed. “It worked!”


	6. Lunch has rules!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny and Tucker get in trouble.

Sam stood up almost as quickly as Danny, only almost as she couldn’t ignore gravity. “THIS IS THE THANKS I GET FOR THINKING LIKE AN INDIVIDUAL!” As she yelled, the lights flickered An unnatural wind blew through the corridor. Lockers banged open on either side of them. Sam and Tucker inched towards their ghostly friend. Paper swirled around in the rapidly increasing wind. Pens, books and lunch boxes flew from the still banging lockers.   
Tucker sniffed. “Steak!” He cried out as various joints of meat floated down the hall, swirling in the artificial wind. “Ribeye! No, porterhouse. Medium rare.” Danny gave him a weird look. “But where did it come from?” A stray piece of paper got caught on his glasses. “Lancer!” He growled, pulling the paper from his face.  
At the other end of the hall the Lunch Lady ghost appeared as Danny’s breath fogged. The meat spiralled into a tornado around her. It engulfed her completely. The wind died down. Paper fluttered to the floor. And as everything settled, stood in the middle of the hall, the Lunch Lady’s new outfit was revealed. She had become some kind of meat monster. SHe had covered herself head to toe in meat. She clenched a meaty fist and pointed at the three teenagers. “Prepare to learn why meat is the most powerful of the five food groups!” Then, her demeanour changed. She held up a cookie and asked if they wanted it in her sweet old lady voice. Sam, fearful of what might happen, shook her head slowly. The sweet old lady vanished again. “THEN PERISH!”  
Danny slid protectively in front of Sam. “The only thing with an expiration date her is you!” He yelled, pointing at the ghost. HE didn’t notice but there had been slightly more force in his yell than he had intended. A ring appeared around the end of his finger as his energy seemed to drain. It travelled down his arm and across his body. In moments he stood there in a gray sweatshirt and blue jeans. His red sneakers squeaked in a way his hazmat boots didn’t as he shifted his weight. “Whoops,” He said, staring at his bare hand. “I didn’t mean to do that.”  
The ghost roared at him, spraying him in what he hoped was just meat juices. “Now that’s just gross,” He complained, shaking his hands and then his hair.  
Her response was to grab him by the arm with a greasy, meat covered hand and fling him across the corridor, right into Tucker. Both boys slammed, hard, into the lockers.   
Tucker sat up first, wincing slightly. “Come on change back,” He cried helplessly, shaking the half ghost next to him.   
Sam screamed as the meaty hand of the ghost Lunch LAdy grabbed her around the waist and flew off.  
“We gotta go!” Tucker yelled as Danny finally sat up.  
A ring was just starting to form around Danny’s waist when a heavy hand landed on his shoulder. The ring dissipated. “You two,” said the owner of the hand. Danny looked up to see Lancer was the one who had a hand on each of their shoulders. “Aren’t going anywhere.”   
Behind the teacher stood two of the jocks; Dash, who was grinning, and Wes, who was scowling.

Lancer lead the 4 teenage boys to his office. Inside he sat behind his desk and pulled out three school records. Danny glanced at the names on the three folders. Daniel J Fenton, Wesley Weston, and Tucker Foley. He frowned. Wes was in trouble too?  
“Wesley Weston,” Lancer started, opening the folder. “As it is outside the basketball season Mr Weston, need I remind you that you should be working hard to keep your grades up and stay out of trouble.” Wes flinched at the reminder. “You seem to have a record for being boisterous in the library, but otherwise no trouble. Tucker Foley, chronic tardiness, talking in class and repeated loitering outside the girls locker room.” Tucker grinned. Danny felt like thumping him. “Danny Fenton, 34 dropped beakers in the last month, banned for life from handling any fragile school property, but no severe mischief before today.” Lancer slammed the three folders down on his desk. “So Gentlemen, WHY DID THE THREE OF YOU CONSPIRE TO DESTROY THE SCHOOL CAFETERIA?”  
“Mr Lancer,” Wes said, timidly raising his hand. “I wasn’t-”  
“You weren’t involved?” Lancer asked, turning towards the ginger basketballer. “We’ll get to you in a moment. Mr Fenton, Mr Foley?”  
“Dash started it,” Danny complained. “He threw-”  
“Four touchdown passes in the last game and is thereby exempt from scorn.”  
“That’s hardly fair,” Tucker complained. “Dash has shoved Danny into his locker three times since school started.”  
“Mr Fenton,” Lancer turned back to Danny, the anger no longer on his face. “Is this true?”  
“I usually managed to get out,” Danny said, scrunching his shoulders up to his ears.  
“Alright, punishment is not exempt,” Lancer said, he pointed at Dash. “From any of you.”  
“But I didn’t-”  
“Mr Weston, we will discuss your involvement when I have sorted out Mr Baxter,” Lancer turned to the blonde boy who was looking far less smug now that he was getting punished as well. “Follow me Mr Baxter. You three need to wait here.” With that, Lancer and Dash left the room. The door closing behind them.  
As soon as the door shut, Danny and tucker stood up. Tucker sniffed. “That meat is still in the building,” he said, turning to Danny. “200 yards tops.”  
Danny nodded and looked around. He noticed the surveillance equipment in the corner. Looking from display to display Danny noticed something odd. “Hey Tuck,” He said, pointing to one of the screens. “Check it out, meat trail.”  
“YOu guys are so weird,” Wes said, spinning around in his chair to look at them. Danny and Tucker jumped. “You know that right?”  
“Nowhere near as weird as you think Wes,” Danny muttered, trying to think of a way out of this situation.  
“Whatever,” Wes said, standing up and walking to the door. “I’m not hanging around here. Later losers.”  
Danny dropped his shoulders and blinked. “Well that was easy,” he said as a ring appeared. Whilst the transformation was still underway he grabbed Tucker and phased through the floor. Tucker yelled. As they passed through the floor, Danny heard Lancer open the door.  
“Gentleman, your punishment will be-” There was a brief pause as he took in the empty room. “Worse than you can imagine.”  
“Opps,” Danny said as they came through the basement ceiling.  
“Sweet mother of mutton!” Tucker yelled as he ran towards the boxes piled all over the place. “I dreamed of it but I never believed it was real!”  
Danny blinked at him. “How is it I’m the trans boy with ghost powers, but your the weird kid?”


	7. Meat is Good for Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all know what's coming. It's the meat fight. Sam and Tucker do some actual bonding before their fight when they get to Danny's house though.

Sam sat neck deep in meat. Tucker was so going to pay for getting her kidnapped by a meat ghost. Speaking of ghosts, where the fuck was Danny? It shouldn’t have taken them this long to find her.  
“My dear child,” said the stupid ghost. Sam really really hoped that she wouldn’t have to break her own ideals as well as kosher because some ghost is trying to kill her. “Meat is good for kids! It helps them grow and makes them smile!” She demonstrated how to smile. Sam just frowned deeper. “Why won’t you eat it?” She held out a chicken leg to Sam.  
“We don’t need meat,” She snapped, leaning back as far as she could. That move put her closer to a pile of sausages than she would’ve liked. “That’s fact.”  
The Lunch Lady’s demeanor changed again. She growled. Wind whipped around them. Sam’s hair blew into her face and she had no way to push it back. “SILENCE! You need discipline, manners, respect!” The ghost floated closer to her again. “You know where that comes from? MEAT!” The wind stopped as suddenly as it had begun. The ghost lifted up the chicken leg again, as well as a fish. “Chicken? Or fish?” Sam was going to die down here.  
Behind the ghost, Sam saw the glow of her best friend. Finally. Danny smacked into the Lunch Lady with the best punch she had ever seen him do. The ghost went flying and Sam tried to follow the fight as it moved across the room but with just her head free, she couldn’t.  
That was when Tucker came running with a knife and fork. He started cutting at a steak on top of the pile. “I’ll have you out of there in no time Sam!”  
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” She groaned, rolling her head back. Sam could sort of see what was going on in that position. Danny was about to kick the ghost in the- Nevermind. She caught him around the ankle and lifted him up like he weighed nothing. Which was probably true, Sam mused, seen as they were currently floating.  
“See?” The ghost yelled as if Danny was proving her point. “This is why you need meat! You’re skin and bones.” She hurled Danny across the room. Sam was starting to see a pattern in this fight. Shish kebabs levitated from boxes and set themselves on fire. They then hurled themselves at Danny, who was lying waist-deep in a wall.  
HE stood up. Sam watched the realisation that the shish kebabs were coming dawn on his face. Then something weird happened. She really meant that. She’d had a weird day but watching Danny split himself in half at the waist to avoid oncoming shish kebabs topped everything else. Sam saw his surprised smile and guessed that he hadn’t meant to do that.  
Somewhere out of Sam’s line of sight, the Lunch Lady growled. Then the wind picked up again. The meat she was sat in floated away, including the bit Tucker was about to eat. Then Sam noticed that the meat from the boxes was floating towards the ghost as well.  
With her meaty form returned, the Lunch Lady grabbed Danny around the waist. Next to her, Tucker lifted his knife and fork in determination. “Help’s on the way, buddy!”  
Before either of them can do anything, least of all eat the meat monster, the ghost threw Danny at a wall. He harmlessly passed through it but that left Sam and Tucker with no defence. The meat monster turned towards them. “Run?” Sam asked  
“Run,” Tucker agreed. He dropped his knife and fork and they ran. But just before they reached the door the ghost blocked it with a pile of meat.  
“Why must it all be meat?” Sam grumbled. “I really need a shower.”  
“We’ve got bigger problems,” Tucker whimpered, poking her. The ghost had lifted her hands and was clearly preparing to launch more meat at them. “I don’t want to die surrounded by meat I can’t eat!”  
Danny grabbed them and flew through a wall, just as the meaty fists were launched. Sam heard the impact as they appeared on the other side. Sam looked up at her ghostly friend. “Gee Danny,” she said. “Fighting meat monsters, flying through walls, you must be exhausted.”  
Danny gave a weak protest. “What? Of course not, what would give you that i-” But before he could finish he passed out. Luckily they were barely 2 feet off the ground so they just tumbled.  
“Sam,” Tucker said, wearily standing up. “If we stay here the ghost is going to come back and Danny can’t fight it in this state.”  
“You’re right,” She agreed. “Skip?”  
“For our own well being.” They each grabbed Danny, Sam around the knees and Tucker around the shoulders, and started carrying him towards Fenton Works. “Did I ever tell you about my fear of hospitals?”  
“Are you really making small talk as we carry Danny home?”  
“What? It’s a long walk!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As in the previous work in this series, correct me on anything Jewish!


	8. We Don't Need Meat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final fight.

When they arrived at Fenton Works the front door was open, Jack and Maddie were on the floor in the front room and Jazz was in the kitchen trying to get a vacuum looking thing off of her hair. Tucker decided not to question it. "Hey Mr and Mrs Fenton," he said instead. "What a great day at school. Poor Danny nodded off. So we decided to bring him all the way home with no parental interaction whatsoever."  
Sam was very obviously gritting her teeth through her smile, Tucker wasn't really bothered by that. "Don't get up," she said in a very high pitched faux positive voice. "We know the way." With that they carried Danny up the stairs and dropped him onto his bed.  
"What the hell was that?" Sam growled at him.  
"What?" He asked. "Oh you mean the thing with Jazz, yeah I think Mr and Mrs F think Jazz is a ghost."  
Sam smacked him. "So we decided to carry him all the way home," she mocked him.  
"Hey," Tucker complained, rubbing at his shoulder. "Like you were any better."  
"Well now what do we do?" Sam asked, crossing her arms and sitting at the edge of Danny's bed.  
"Wait for him to wake up?" Tucker suggested as he sat in Danny's desk chair.  
"We don't even know how long that could take," Sam said. "And he really shouldn't sleep in his binder."  
"He wore a sports bra today," Tucker reminded her.  
Sam wanted to tell him that wasn't much better but she also didn't want to take her friend's clothes off. "If he doesn't wake up in an hour we try to wake him," she decided, looking at her watch. "For now homework or Mario kart?"  
"Is that even a question?" Tucker asked.  
Sam laughed and pulled a Switch out of her bag.

Not even 10 minutes later, they hadn't even managed to complete a grand prix yet, Danny woke up. Sam paused it and they were both by his bed before he was fully conscious.  
"What?" The ghost boy asked. "Where am I?"  
"You passed out," Tucker said, with a mournful voice. "We took you home, you've been asleep for four days!"  
"FOUR DAYS!" Danny yelled, sitting bolt upright. He fell through his bed, somehow not falling through the floor.  
"Very funny Tucker," Sam grumbled at him.  
Tucker laughed and helped Danny back onto his star covered bed. "Nah it's only been a couple hours."  
“You know what Tucker,” Sam said, standing up and planting her hands on her hips. “You joking around has almost gotten Danny killed twice today!”  
“We couldn’t have had this argument instead of playing Mario Kart?” Tucker asked, also standing up. He realised that they were literally arguing over Danny, who was laying on the bed between them, but Sam had hit him with so many unnecessary shells when they were playing. “And also, it wasn’t me that nearly got him killed. You did! Because you had to be unique. You had to take the meat away. But I’m gonna get it back!” Tucker marched out of the room as he made this declaration.  
As he reached the top of the stairs, Sam came barreling out of Danny’s room. “You wanna change that menu back? YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME TO DO IT!” She yelled before chasing after him.  
“Bye Mr and Mrs F,” Tucker said as he opened the front door. He was going to find a way to get the meat back.  
He plainly ignored Danny as he yelled out the window, “Guys the menu was a single day trial, why are you making such a big deal out of this?”

When Danny arrived at school the next day he was hoping that his two best friends would have come to their senses but he was wrong. As he entered the school grounds he saw Sam and Tucker both marching towards him. “You guys managed to put together two protests in one night?”  
“Meat eaters Danny,” Tucker said. “Always ready to fight.”  
“Tucker you eat things that aren’t meat!” Danny exclaimed but his friend wasn’t listening.  
“And our high-protein diets gives us the energy we need to do it quickly.” Danny looked over at the meat eaters protest and saw that Tucker had somehow hired a professional dance group and got them to dress as hot dogs. Danny didn’t want to think about the fact that they probably weren’t a ‘Dance Group’.  
“Vegans are always ready to protest,” Sam said to Danny before turning back to Tucker. “And because we don’t have to waste time cooking our food, we can move even faster.” Danny saw that Sam had gathered far more vegans than Tucker had meat eaters. Students walked between the two groups with their heads down.  
“Don’t you guys think this is a little extreme?” Danny asked, feeling like turning invisible himself. For once, he had control of his powers.  
“No choice Danny,” Tucker said. He seemed to be leaning into Danny’s space. “You’re either with me.”  
Sam leant in on his other side. “Or you’re against him!”   
They both suddenly leant all the way into his space and he ducked. At the exact same moment they yelled “SO WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?”  
As the angry teens yelled an ominous laughing came from a truck on the meat side of the school. Then the truck split and a tornado of meat spewed upwards. “IT’S LUNCH TIME!” Yelled the ghost from yesterday. Meat came from all over the school and joined the torrent. A fist shot out. Legs joined the forming body. BEfore long the meaty form of the Lunch Lady was back, but bigger and meatier than ever.   
Danny glanced at his friends. “Guys,” He growled through gritted teeth. “It’s time to make up. Now!” And as if they had practiced this before, Sam and Tucker dropped their argument and hugged around Danny. Hoping the panicking crowd would cover the flash, Danny changed. His friends split apart and he threw himself into the sky.  
Danny flew up to the ghosts greasy meat covered face. “I thought I told you to go away,” he said. She roared at him and tried to smack him from the sky. He dodged. She tried to slap him with the other hand. He dropped below it. A fist came up at him from below but he anticipated that one as well. “Is that all you got?” He asked as he kicked her, hard. She went down, spraying meat juices everywhere.  
“He really is getting better,” Danny heard Tucker say. He turned around and smiled at his friends. Which was a mistake. The ghost hit him up high into the sky.  
He cried out in surprise as he went flying through a jet plane that was passing overhead. As he went through he heard an attendant giving a passenger some water. He turned, somewhat clumsily, and barreled back into the fight, back through the plane. He grabbed the water on his way through, shouting, “Thanks!” as he went. On his way back down he splashed the water on his face. He threw the cup away and noticed it vanish. Briefly, he wondered where it had gone.  
As he built speed on his decent, Danny aimed towards the Lunch Lady. He wasn’t sure how fast he was going but when he hit he felt the meaty explosion as his own ecto-energy collided with that of the other ghost. Meat went flying everywhere. Danny crashed into the ground shoulder first.   
With quite some effort he pulled himself out of the smoking crater in front of Casper High. “Oh dear what a mess,” the Lunch Lady said above him. “Are you okay?” He looked up and saw she was completely free of meat.  
“I think so,” He said, stretching out his shoulder.  
The ghost glared at him for that. “Tough!” She yelled in his face. “Because you being okay is not on my balanced diet of DOOM!” Five angry little meat monsters climbed out of the crater glaring at Danny. Running entirely on instinct, Danny fled.   
He didn’t get very far before the meaty monstrosities surrounded him. He knew he didn’t have the best balance, but now he could ignore gravity so he decided what the hell and roundhouse kicked all five of them. His foot sliced cleanly through each of them and their meaty little bodies collapsed. He tried not to grin as he slid into a crouch. That felt insanely cool.  
There was a strange moist popping noise and Danny looked up to see all five monsters had reformed. “Wasn’t expecting that,” He said as a ring passed over his body, leaving him human once again. “Or that.” The meat monsters grinned meaty little grins at him. They grabbed him by the legs and flew up as fast as they could. He did not scream. As they passed over the school a silver blur came flying at him. Being suspended upside down, he didn’t have the maneuverability to dodge the oncoming... thing.  
The thing hit him in the face and he was so glad that his durability had increased when he got ghost powers otherwise his nose would be broken. He grabbed at the thing before it could fall. “Hey,” He yelled as he noticed what it was. “A Fenton Thermos! But how am I going to get it to work?”  
The meat monsters dropped him. He fell gaining speed faster and faster. There was a large orange thing on the ground where he was falling to. His dad! He was falling towards his parents. “Change back,” he pleaded with himself. “Come on! Change back!” He squeezed his eyes shut. There was a tingling feeling and he assumed that was his weird half-death thing rather than actual death. He opened his eyes and everything seemed to have a slight green glow. No that was his eyes. Triumphantly, he uncurled from around the thermos.  
“Thanks for the thermos!” He yelled as he phased through the ground in front of his parents.  
Somehow, Danny found his way up and through the ground to come out right in front of the Lunch Lady. She saw his thermos and growled at him. “NO!” She yelled. “Soups not on today’s menu!”   
“I’m changing the menu, permanently,” Danny said as he pulled the cap off of the thermos. “I sure hope I’m right!” He focused hard, pouring as much energy into the thermos as he could. He felt a shift come over him as the ghost started screaming. When he put the cap back on the thermos to keep the ghost inside, his hand was bare.  
Sam and Tucker came running up to him. “What happened?” Sam asked. “Where’s the ghost?”  
Danny shock the thermos. “My parents have their moments.” That was when Jack, Maddie and Jazz also came running. Danny hid the thermos behind him. He felt it pass through something and suddenly he wasn’t holding it. He decided to question that later.  
“There is a ghost directly ahead,” The Fenton Finder’s voice told them. Danny grinned sheepishly.  
“Er,” He said, deciding then and there that he wasn’t going to tell his parents. Not yet at least. “You just missed him dad.” He pointed over his shoulder.  
“We got a runner!” Jack yelled and started running.  
“Great,” Jazz said, scowling. “Back to square one.” She then looked at the massive crater behind Danny. “I think the school is going to be closed for a while. You want a ride home?”  
“Sure Jazz,” Danny said. “Soon as they give the announcement. We’ll meet you at your car?”  
Jazz nodded and headed towards the school to find a teacher probably.   
“So you aren’t going to tell them?” Tucker asked.  
“Not yet,” Dany said, reaching behind him and somehow pulling the thermos from wherever it had gone. “I think I may have found out what these powers are for. They make me-”  
“In a world of trouble!” Lancer said as he came up from where Jazz had been. “But that is for detention, here.” He handed all three of them slips of paper that said what they would be doing for detention. “For now go home. I’ll see you back here in 5 hours to help with clean up.”

After they had each gone home, changed from their meat soaked clothes and washed, they arrived back at the school. Lance stood in front and handed them each a brush, pair of gloves and a bag. “You’ll be cleaning up this mess.”  
Danny looked over the piles of meat. This would take a while. Then Danny saw Dash was also here cleaning the meat. His vision tinted green as a satisfied smirk spread across his face.


End file.
